


Treat yo’self

by yogini



Series: Fantastic Nifflers and Why They Are Awesome [5]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crime Fighting, Friends to Lovers, Kleptomania, M/M, Nifflers, Original Percival Graves is a Softie, Protective Original Percival Graves, Theft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 10:29:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10569453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yogini/pseuds/yogini
Summary: “Mr Scamander! Control that bloody pet of yours!”“I’m not quite sure what you’re…” Newt says, looking up from a detailed sketch of what seems to be an occamy, and Percival all but thrusts the niffler in his face.“Oh.” Newt turns around, looking from the niffler to the case on the floor that is ever so slightly open and then back again. “I didn’t… It won’t happen again, ever. I’m so very sorry. And so is he, he’s terribly regretful. Terribly, I assure you.”“I can see that” Percival replies drily as the niffler kicks his tiny little legs back and forth, swaying in his hold and looking very much like he enjoys himself and the impromptu swinging opportunity.Niffler, cute kleptomaniac extraordinare vs. Percival Graves, Director of Magical Security and the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Fantastic beasts and where to find them or any of the characters in the series, I'm just borrowing them from their respective owners to play with a little and I promise to give them back when I'm done. No copyright infringement is intended and I don't make any money from writing fanfiction.

He knows what’s going on as soon as the first muffled curse is heard outside his office. It’s quickly followed by increasingly frantic activity as pockets are rifled through, drawers pulled out and bags upended to reveal their contents and, more importantly, what’s missing from them. Percival sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. He should have remembered what day it was. Newt Scamander had accepted the offer to come to New York and work with MACUSA employees to produce new regulations on protection and care of magical creatures and the magizoologist, suit-case confined menagerie included, was scheduled to be at the office today to present an early draft to the President. So far the niffler has, to his knowledge, managed to escape no less than five times already and he should have known that it was only a matter of time before it happened at the MACUSA headquarters as well. At least this time his aurors wouldn’t have to obliviate any unsuspecting citizens that happened to see the little thief. More and more foul language is heard and before long the whole department is in an uproar and he can’t, try as he might, ignore it any longer. As he tiredly massages his temples he gets to his feet to sort out this mess. With all his auror training and field experience he usually chases criminals that are bigger than the size of a grapefruit. Oh, dignity. He had it once.

Exiting his office he catches a small movement out of the corner of his eye and immediately reacts.   
“Niffler!” he shouts and quickly casts as spell, one of the few that has been proven to be effective to catch the little thief, and the small creature pouts as it zooms through the air towards him, its paws protectively resting on top of its bulging belly pouch to keep everything safely inside. Inwardly it probably curses the fact that Scamander is no longer the only person in New York to know that spell. He plucks it neatly out of the air as soon as it’s within reach, gripping it around the belly tight enough to not let it get away again but loose enough not to hurt.   
“Give it up” he tells it sternly and only receives an undignified farting noise in response. Rolling his eyes at the insolent creature he grabs its legs, tips it gently upside down as he’s seen Scamander do and tickles it to make the loot fall out, all while the niffler ineffectively tries to jab at his fingers in between giggling like a little loon. 

When all contraband has been collected, sorted and a tad sullenly relinquished to the rightful owners he grabs the wretched creature by the scruff of its neck and marches off to find its irresponsible owner. He finds him, deep in concentration, bent over a desk filled with heavy books and an old, battered laptop with a large stain of what looks to be dragon’s blood.   
“Mr Scamander! Control that bloody pet of yours!”  
“I’m not quite sure what you’re…” Newt says, looking up from a detailed sketch of what seems to be an occamy, and Percival all but thrusts the niffler in his face.   
“Oh.” Newt turns around, looking from the niffler to the case on the floor that is ever so slightly open and then back again. “I didn’t… It won’t happen again, ever. I’m so very sorry. And so is he, he’s terribly regretful. Terribly, I assure you.”  
“I can see that” Percival replies drily as the niffler kicks his tiny little legs back and forth, swaying in his hold and looking very much like he enjoys himself and the impromptu swinging opportunity. “This is what going to happen. You’re responsible for this creature, Mr Scamander. Every time that he does something that he knows that he’s not supposed to do and you didn’t dissuade him or otherwise prevent him from doing it, you’ll be held accountable for it. Understood?” And with that he hands the niffler over and sweeps away to get some much deserved coffee and save the sad remains of his dignity. 

He thinks that it’ll be the last that he sees of little creature and his coat-wearing owner but it turns out that the smuggling ring that they’d been trying to take down for quite some time now not only smuggles prohibited substances but also beasts and creatures and Scamander is called in to consult. Only to consult, but somehow he didn’t get the memo and ends up in the middle of the fray where Percival has to bodily tackle him to the floor to get him out of harm’s way. When Scamander opens his arms to reveal the small nundu cub that he’d been protecting Percival can’t help but grudgingly admire the other man’s courage. And take a large step backwards because as much as the cub seems to like Scamander, it is downright hostile when it hisses at him. 

After that the magizoologist becomes something of a regular sight at MACUSA, offering his assistance to the auror department on more cases involving magical beasts and helping staff care for and rehome creatures rescued on different raids, as well as working on his new book. Percival finds himself intrigued by the man after attending one of his seminars and they get to know each other quite well after going undercover together to infiltrate an underground club organizing illegal fights. There are some things that two people can’t go through without becoming close and being tied up together and locked into a damp dungeon cell is one of them. Percival doesn’t have many friends, more used to colleagues and acquaintances, but there’s something about Newt and he finds himself spending more and more time with him. He’s still quite surprised when he finds himself offering the other man to move in with him when he struggles to find an accommodation that accepts all his pets, although not as surprised as the other aurors and when he announces that he’s taking a day off work to accompany Newt on a rehoming trip to another state he can almost hear the clacking noise when everyone’s jaws collectively hit the floor. Percival rolls his eyes at his colleagues and decides he better not tell them that he’s started to make the other man breakfast to make sure that he eats properly before work, lest they’d have an aneurysm. 

Living and spending time with Newt inevitably means spending time with his whole menagerie as well and while Percival starts to quite like the various creatures, not that he’ll ever admit it, he’s still the Director of Magical Security and the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and he’ll be damned if he’d let a kleptomaniac, no matter it’s shape, size or form, run loose and wreak havoc in New York. Not on his watch. 

He makes a point of carrying the niffler around, having him give back every piece of stolen property in person, hoping that the niffler will somehow see the error of his ways when faced with so many disgruntled MACUSA employees. Sadly, the effect is ruined by the niffler’s cuteness and everyone ends up cooing over the creature instead, effectively ruining the message that he’s trying to get across. Next, he tries to ignore him when he behaves badly but that backfires as well. Scolded by everyone from Newt to the President on how he makes the creature sad by not talking to him and shutting him out of his office, he’s forced to change and let him roam freely even if it means taking back his grandfather’s old watch at least twice a day and have his lap serving as a place to nap when thieving becomes too exhausting. No one will ever know that he’s absentmindedly stroking the niffler’s fur when that happens, nor that he happens to find the creature’s tiny snores downright adorable. 

In desperation he then turns to various behaviour training techniques and tries everything from reward charts to naughty corners. Safe to say, it doesn’t work and Newt hits him over the head and tells him to never have children. Then, seeing the scowl on his face he leans in closer trying to smooth it out, trips, falls and just happens to faceplant into him and kiss him. Percival doesn’t know whether it was deliberate or not but he’s too busy kissing back to care. He does however flip off the wolf-whistling demiguise and close the door to his office to stop the whole department from gawking. 

When he’s exhausted all other methods he takes to spending hours and hours at the library, looking for any kind of spell or other solution but the creature’s own magic counteracts most of the things that he tries and any attempt to thwart the niffler’s thievery ultimately proves to be futile. Percival swears that it’s not only because of the niffler’s nature and inherent need to take anything shiny that Newt suggests as an explanation but also because it’s like a game for him, otherwise he wouldn’t look so goddamn smug every time he’s managed to outsmart him. 

At long last he admits defeat and casts a charm on his office that doesn’t prevent theft, because he has yet to find one that’s completely effective, but one that at least alerts him when it happens so that he can get his things back. Then he teaches the same spell to his co-workers and goes home to contemplate his life choices. 

When Newt gets home from a trip outside the city he’s pleasantly surprised to see that Percival’s shoes are already by the door. The man has been known as MACUSA:s worst workaholic for years and years and while he’s made a point of going home earlier to spend more time with his boyfriend it’s surprising to see him home at this hour, especially since he knew that Newt would be out of town until late. He peeks into the kitchen and sees the niffler comfortably snuggled up in his little basket, clutching a small box in his paw and wearing a tiny little t-shirt that proudly proclaims: “Treat yo’self!”  
“Absolutely not.” Newt turns sharply on his heel and stomps off to find his boyfriend and tell him off. He might not be as zealous when it comes to preventing theft as he has been, both because it’s in the niffler’s nature to crave shiny objects and because having the Director of Magical Security as his boyfriend has proven to be beneficial when it comes to getting out of trouble, whether it’s creature related or not but there’s a difference between that and actively showing open support like this. Absolutely not, indeed. “Percival! Don’t you dare encouraging him! What the bloody hell are you doing?”   
“If you can’t beat them, join them” comes the muffled response and Newt skids around the corner to find him lying face down on the sofa, a tumbler of whisky on the table and reruns of Parks and Rec playing on the television. “This is me officially giving up. Oh, and by the way. I was going to ask you to marry me but the niffler stole the ring.”


End file.
